Pop Culture Cuisinart

OK, it's an old joke, but all the current hysteria over gay marriage got me thinking about the ritual of marriage itself. You know what I realized... marriage is already gay! Think about it, at what other point in a man's life, does he get together with his closest friends and wear the exact same outfit? Try never, if I knew I had the same shirt as one of my friends, I'd probably throw it out on general principal. Here you willingly wear the same thing, and it's formal wear no less. Then you have the reception, scores of bad booty music tracks you'd never normally listen to, played so your rhythmically challenged relatives can "shake their groove thang." Would you normally electric slide? Macarena? And where else do grown men get drunk and profess their love for one another. It happens frequently in best man speeches.
At no other time in your life will you be asked if you prefer orchids or lilies. Should the ribbons on the centerpieces be violet or fushia? And you should just hand over your guy card when you are selecting a china pattern. In fact the only real escapist bastion of maleness is the bachelor party... and guess what, that's gay too.
Imagine, a dozen drunk guys sitting around in a room getting horny watching naked women gyrate. That's what happens in your typical strip club. Oh and by the way, you can't touch the women. In fact the only people you can touch are the other guys you're with, folks that's gay.
So the next time somebody tells you gay marriage is an abomination, point out that marriage itself is already gay.

Britney Spears looks like one of my girlfriend's DFACS clients. She has the startlingly bad fashion, jean shorts, see through shirt(while pregnant mind you). The sagging body, the wife beater wearing unemployed husband, and the over platinumed hair. Throw in appallingly bad parenting skills(driving with child in lap, changing child on floor of public restaurant, nearly dropping child on pavement) and we're a meth addiction short of perfection. Put this woman in a double wide with a 1982 Firebird parked out front and she'll look right at home. She looks like the poster child for body by Ding Dongs. The only question left is how long before K-Fed's profligate spending combines with her declining music career and expanding pant size to form the perfect storm that leads to... The Britney Spears Trim Spa ad!

I can't wait for this Behind the Music.

Large caches of drugs have been discovered in a few bathroom vanities that were sold from 2 Massachusetts Home Depot stores. Now we know that when they say "You can do it, we can help", they're not necessarily talking about home improvement. I'll be eagerly awaiting the "What to do with the 40 pounds of weed in your vanity" book in the Time-Life kitchens and bathrooms series.

The Science of Superman special. Get a load of their write up for it:

The Man of Steel has enthralled audiences for decades with his incredible powers of flight, super strength, x- ray vision and super speed. But just how much science fact is there behind these superpowers? On Thursday, June 29 at 9 p.m. ET/PT, National Geographic Channel's (NGC) "The Science of Superman" puts the superpowers to the test, revealing what's plausible based on the earth-bound laws of physics, biology and astronomy, and what's pure science fiction.

Um, it's a movie, that is based on a comic book. In other words it's all f-ing science fiction! How are you going to test for Super Powers anyway? Throw a guy off a building, oops, he didn't fly. Have someone stand next to a wall and try to see through it? Hmm, I only see wall, I don't think this x-ray vision thing is going to hold up under the scientific method. Obviously as science goes, things like flight and x-rays are possible, but not by any individual person without appropriate equipment. Besides it's entertainment and I don't need for it to be proven to enjoy the fantasy, now KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

a visual explanation.


Brazilian futbol fan


German football fan



South Korean football fan



American soccer fan

Any questions?

Check out this video someone made of U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday, using clips from various Bush speeches. Tremendous editing job here.

doing yesterday? I've seen more organization of attack and coordination of defence in an under 10 girls match. It seems almost as if Bruce Arena has forgotten how to coach. The team clearly wasn't ready to play, they never matched the Czech's intensity, and they went into a shell after they got down in the match. If I could suggest a few changes, I'd take Demarcus Beasley off the pitch, he didn't seem to want to be there yesterday. I'd start Eddie Johnson, his speed and striking ability could be useful against the Italians. Let's put in guys who will put in the effort and are playing well now, as opposed to basing lineup choices on reputation or on who has played well for Bruce in the past. Time to get Wolff, O'Brien, Dempsey and Ching in there. Hopefully a shake up could work to get the US a result against Italy.

of just attacking Ann Coulter personally rather than arguing her points. And they have a point, I did attack Ann Coulter, of course this is exactly what Ann Coulter DOES. Since when is calling 9/11 widows "the witches of East Brunswick" a cogent intellectual argument? Or is wishing that Timothy McVeigh had bombed the "New York Times building instead", an elevation of political discourse? Or my personal favorite, saying of the Arab world, "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity"(actually I think this is what the Bush Administration has in mind in Iraq, but I digress). While some undoubtedly think starting the tenth Crusade to the Holy Land is a good idea; this kind of comment suggests a level of xenophobia and insensitivity that seems more appropriate of a German soccer hooligan than an American political pundit. As for her most recent comments, "I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much." How does she know? Has she actually talked to the 9/11 widows? And why didn't she address the widows' concerns, which consisted of asking for an honest assessment of what OUR government was doing to protect us. She didn't ask that question, she just attacked their grief instead. In short if people felt I didn't give Coulter's arguments a fair shake, tough, I gave them the same consideration that Coulter herself gives everyone else's.

Weird Al is back! The new song is a send up of of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" entitled "You're Pitiful". I've linked it here, Weird Al delivers again with another incisive song parody, with perfect musical mimicry, and fantastically witty lyrics. Hopefully this means he'll be releasing a new album soon. Poodle Hat was too long ago.