Pop Culture Cuisinart

SHUT YO MOUTH. I'm just talking about the Easter bunny. Sure the bunny is supposed to be a cute and time honored ancient symbol of fertility, and he is. Anyone who's taken a gander at the number of bunnies in the woods by my house, knows they are fertile. Of course there is also the tradition of mad as a March hare, which refers to the wild boxing of the bunnies in the spring as the males fight over mates. Perhaps that explains the behavior of this Easter Bunny. Or maybe he's just bored. Enjoy the humor.

I'm guessing this will be the first time in cinematic history that the words "Oh no Jesus didn't!" will be uttered at the screen. Not that Jesus really does anything that bad here. If anyone really gets maligned in the film it's albinos, not Jesus. All the savior did was have a family which given that he was human in addition to being God, doesn't seem that far fetched. Meanwhile the albino in the film is a psychotic, murdering zealot. A sort of Eric Rudolph with less pigment. This seems to me to be the more negative portrayal. So allow me to be the first to call for albinos to boycott this film. You've been tormented long enough by things like the sun's rays, Coke bottle glasses, extremely recessive genes and the inevitable comparisions to the "freaky" gerbil in the petstore. How dare the film industry portray you in such a negative light! I call for an albino day without movies, that'll show them.

The special called Juiced features OJ pulling pranks on unsuspecting people ala Punked. In the special he attempts to sell his white Bronco at a used car lot, and disguises himself in numerous ways to pull pranks. Frankly this could be the most fun we've had with an elaborately customed murderer on celluloid since Silence of the Lambs. They're also coming out with a Juiced DVD of stuff you won't see on the pay per view. Awesome, I can't wait to hear the director commentary on that one.

Personally I think OJ should've reprised one of his old Hertz ads with the White Bronco, now that would've been funny.

The Evolution of Dance as performed by comedian Judson Laipply. How many of these dances have you done? Be honest, you've totally done the Thriller dance! Notice that even he refuses to do the macarena. Ah, the nostalgia of dance floor embarrassment.

Some teammates should not be allowed to stand together on TV.


Wait, are you trying to tell us something?

you need to watch this weekends SNL intro. It had Al Gore speaking to the nation as if he were currently President. It hits in ironic fashion most of the failures of this administration by talking about what might have been(ah, the halcyon days of alternate reality). Funny stuff, my favorite part is the section on W as the baseball commisioner.

President Gore speaks

Rix who was one of the least successful QBs in Florida State history is opening a school for quarterbacks. This seems sort of like William Hung opening a singing school, but hey, who am I to judge. Perhaps he can get Todd Marinovich, Ron Powlus, and Dan Kendra to serve as instructors.

Rix demonstrating his winning technique.

Introducing the pork martini. Now there is an idea whose time has come.

Yeah, but bacon tastes good...

Remember 2 summers ago when shark attacks were all the rage and the news media breathlessly reported every time anyone came within 50 feet of a carnivorous fish? Well after the deaths of 3 people due to Alligator attacks get ready for the next great media overreaction. Already I've seen several updates on the alligator story today and I expect it will be all the rage for several weeks. The three surest ways to create a media frenzy, animals with large teeth killing someone, missing white women, and celebrity malfeasance. It never fails.

The "it" swamp thing.

The long awaited Outkast movie Idlewild has a trailer up at the official site. It looks interesting, sort of a Chicago meets Get Rich or Die Tryin'. A period piece for the hip hop set if you will. Frankly I'm more interested in the soundtrack, but the movie might be good. Andre 3000, when not dressed like Huggy Bear, actually can act.