Pop Culture Cuisinart

of O' Holy night so spectacularly bad it would make Eric Cartman blush. Seriously there are moments in this song that I think he's literally strangling cats to make these sounds. This makes Hung for the holidays sound like a masterwork. The saddest part is this appears to have been a serious attempt to sing this song. Even Simon Cowell wouldn't have the words.




_{(or download an mp3.)}

Well according to this study she can't. That's because she is a Libra and Libra's are apparently the worst drivers of the Zodiac. Leo's are the best, so if you were born between July 23 and August 22 you need to be asking for a discount. The full list can be found here. Coming soon to a singles bar near you, "Hey baby, what's your auto accident ratio?"


I'd like to report an accident...wait, how'd you know I was a Libra?

While I know there will be an insatiable desire by those long out of power in Washington, to suckle off the previously Republican favored lobbyist teat, I hope they'll remember Americans voted for change. I have this sinking feeling that all we'll get from them is watered down legislation which gives a grand illusion of progress while accomplishing nothing.

Things I'd like to see:
1. Get out of Iraq. Quickly. Bush's grand adventure is a failure, we've not only lost hearts and minds in the middle east, we've probably sent them sprinting towards radical fundamentalism. Unfortunately keeping our troops there longer isn't going to change this reality, we can either exit with a bad result and 3000 dead or exit with a bad result and say 5000 dead. I know which I'd pick.

2. Healthcare reform. The richest country on the planet should not have the poorest insured rate of industrialized nations. This is the area where we can do the most good for the largest number of Americans. Get too it.

3. Balanced budgets. A surplus would be nice. This won't come easily, as the supply siders undoubtedly still feel that the magic of Reaganomics will surely start working any day now. Guess what folks, we've had this theory running our government for 17 of the last 25 years now, and it was the other 8 years that saw the greatest economic expansion. Coincidence? I think not.

4. Simpler tax code. It would be nice if I could either not spend $50 on software every year to do my taxes or pay $150 to have someone else do them.

5. Tax the rich people. They don't need tax cuts. And their money could fund a host of needed social programs.

6. Taxes on greenhouse gas emissions. The planets getting warmer, if you'd like to keep the beach where it is I'd get to work on this.

7. Slight raise in minimum wage. Again helps the greatest number of people in an appreciable way quickly. Just do it.

8. Repeal of Military Commissions act and related acts/clauses what have you. I want my freedoms back.

9. Paper trail for electronic voting. I refuse to believe election results that can't be recounted by hand. Particularly when we have certain machines showing the 18000 people didn't vote in the biggest race in a district. Yeah, that really happened.

Don't just sit there and feather your nests for '08, let's get something done. These are your marching orders, ten hut.

MotivationalBuck.com, the Web site where you can make your own "Successories"-style posters for motivational purposes -- or just straight up mocking purposes. Check out some submissions.

Given the extremely vacuous nature of all her relationships with other human beings it would be no surprise if Paris Hilton had decided to drop Britney from her posse since mommy pop tart possesses all the social graces of a truckstop waitress(and in fact had started to look like one). However the demise of the Spears/Hilton association appears to have been at Britney's behest. According to the NY POST gossip page, Spears people had advised her if she REALLY wanted to make a musical comeback to start associating with a better crowd. Yes, I can't wait for the giant Britney comeback! Surely her fan base of adolecent girls can't wait to embrace the image of walking DFCS case that Britney has become. Who doesn't want to be a twice divorced mother of 2, ya gotta have goals! And I'm sure the male population that once ogled her school girl image will be eager to embrace neo-Britney complete with c-section scar and badonka donk butt.

It looks like you've already been hit a few times, no need for one more.

He'd like for us to take our facts and rational discourse and get out of the way of Republican rule. He's proposed legislation that basically states blogs are covers for sexual predators. This is interesting because if he's really interested in dealing with sexual predators he should be looking say, the catholic church, or perhaps even the House of Representatives.


I did not have sex with that Congressional page... well other than online.

Welcome to the new Bush plan for Iraq, which looks strikingly like the old Bush plan for Iraq But this time with more troops! Yes the decider in his infinite wisdom has decided to double down on a pair of twos. Or like Austin Powers did so seminally in his first film, hold on 5, because "I too like to live dangerously."

Unfortunately the only ones really living dangerously are our soldiers, not groovy baby.

It could be that nobody feels like they look good in crimson. Or it could be that the coaching fraternity feels that the Tide fanbase is a little too attached to the memory of a coaching legend who's been dead for two decades. Witness the picture below...

Mal Moore shopping for Bama's new head coach.

But whatever the reason nobody with any head coaching experience seems to want that job. And can you blame them? Bill Curry won more frequently than any Bama coach not named after a large carnivore and was rewarded with a brick through his window. Mike DuBose won an SEC title and was run out on a rail. And my personal favorite Mike Price, didn't even make it to campus, he was busy being detained by hookers in Florida. Since no one with a real resume wants it I'm officially throwing my hat in the ring. Sure I don't have head coaching or really any football coaching experience, but that makes me at least as qualified as Mike Shula was. Besides even if offered the job I'll probably just use it as an excuse to get more money out of my current employer, call it the Rodriguez way.