Saturday, April 05, 2008
America's most overhyped people vol. 1 (the Beckhams)...
I've decided to do some posts on the most overhyped people on the American celebrity scene right now and I've decided to start with a duo that brings overexposure to staggering levels.
First, there is David Beckham. Soccer midfielder and purveyor of brilliantly struck set pieces, who just happens to have model-esque good looks. As a soccer player there are few that are more ridiculously overhyped than Beckham. Yes, he's perhaps the world's finest motionless soccer ball striker, but that is really about all he does well on the pitch. He's an indifferent defender, he lacks pace, and his dribbling is average at best. In other words to use a basketball analogy, he gets LeBron treatment for Steve Kerr skills. Thus far in 1+ seasons in to a 5 year $250 million contract Beckham has played in just 7 games and scored 1 goal with 3 assists. Now there is money well spent!
If the ball isn't moving he's marvelous.
Oh and did I mention he sounds like a cockney hobbit when he speaks? Really he does, check out the Frodo of Footie on the tonight show...
Then there is Victoria Beckham(nee Adams) who is largely a trophy wife and fashionista now. But it wasn't always so, once she was Posh Spice who, along with Baby, Ginger, Sporty, Scary, Happy, Sleepy, Doc and Old Spice formed the Spice Girls.
For the uninitiated the Spice Girls along with L.F.O., Chumbawumba and Hanson formed the League of most irritating bands of the mid 90s. The Spice Girls recorded such hits as Wannabe and Say you'll be there. They also managed to sell over 55 million albums worldwide, which sounds impressive until you realize its also been done by such musical legends as UB40, Enya and Kylie Minogue. They are also credited with popularizing the phrase Girl Power and just generally setting the cause of feminism back by about 25 years.
The pout, the hair, the sense of hollow smugness, it must be Posh!
Separately they are both notable enough to be annoyingly overhyped. Together they are the Wonder Twins of Paparazzi attraction. Not only do they emanate poor taste, they simply must have everything they do publicized; this is accomplished primarily by walking every red carpet they can find and by befriending even more overhyped celebrities(see Cruise, Tom).
Quick find the camera and pose!
First, there is David Beckham. Soccer midfielder and purveyor of brilliantly struck set pieces, who just happens to have model-esque good looks. As a soccer player there are few that are more ridiculously overhyped than Beckham. Yes, he's perhaps the world's finest motionless soccer ball striker, but that is really about all he does well on the pitch. He's an indifferent defender, he lacks pace, and his dribbling is average at best. In other words to use a basketball analogy, he gets LeBron treatment for Steve Kerr skills. Thus far in 1+ seasons in to a 5 year $250 million contract Beckham has played in just 7 games and scored 1 goal with 3 assists. Now there is money well spent!
If the ball isn't moving he's marvelous.
Oh and did I mention he sounds like a cockney hobbit when he speaks? Really he does, check out the Frodo of Footie on the tonight show...
Then there is Victoria Beckham(nee Adams) who is largely a trophy wife and fashionista now. But it wasn't always so, once she was Posh Spice who, along with Baby, Ginger, Sporty, Scary, Happy, Sleepy, Doc and Old Spice formed the Spice Girls.
For the uninitiated the Spice Girls along with L.F.O., Chumbawumba and Hanson formed the League of most irritating bands of the mid 90s. The Spice Girls recorded such hits as Wannabe and Say you'll be there. They also managed to sell over 55 million albums worldwide, which sounds impressive until you realize its also been done by such musical legends as UB40, Enya and Kylie Minogue. They are also credited with popularizing the phrase Girl Power and just generally setting the cause of feminism back by about 25 years.
The pout, the hair, the sense of hollow smugness, it must be Posh!
Separately they are both notable enough to be annoyingly overhyped. Together they are the Wonder Twins of Paparazzi attraction. Not only do they emanate poor taste, they simply must have everything they do publicized; this is accomplished primarily by walking every red carpet they can find and by befriending even more overhyped celebrities(see Cruise, Tom).
Quick find the camera and pose!
Friday, April 04, 2008
More buffalaxed video...
This time its German. I laughed so hard, I'm crying, seriously.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Random Sporting thoughts...
In a move that I find extremely fitting given the behavior of the local college football team, the Lincoln Co. (TN) Sheriff's Dept, has put the county's inmates in pink uniforms.
"The whole purpose for this is when Nathan Childress escaped," said Sheriff Murray Blackwelder.
"He ran up the street with an orange uniform, and no one called us," he said.
Yup, local escaped cons are virtually indistinguishable from your average group of Vol fans.
EEK, inmates on the prowl! No, wait their just Vol fans.
Mike Hampton makes his return to MLB tonight when he makes a start for the Braves against the Pirates. Considering he hasn't pitched in a regular season game since 2005, it will be interesting to see what he brings to the table.
The Phils are 0-2 thus far on the season, which is nothing new for them. Over the last 7 years collectively the Phils are 80-93 in games played in April. In games in all other months combined the Phils are 520-440. If they didn't have to play in April they'd be awesome.
Perhaps no photo better encapsulates the month of April for the Phils than this one.
Pedro Martinez is out for 6-8 weeks. Gee, who (given his injury history) didn't see that coming? Oh yeah, Mets fans. Hold off on the coronation guys, you'll have to earn the NL East.
If the Flyers miss the playoffs I will be super pissed. We were leading the division a couple of weeks ago and now it appears we'll be lucky to survive to get the 8th seed. After last year any playoff spot will be appreciated, but this team is too good to have hit the skids the way they have down the stretch.
And finally mighty shout outs to both the Sixers and the Hawks for making the NBA playoffs when I thought both were going to stink like feet this season. Now it's likely you'll both get bombed in the first round(particualrly the Hawks who are getting the Celtics), but hey getting there is better than counting Ping Pong balls in June.
Andre Miller has led the Sixers back to the playoffs.
"The whole purpose for this is when Nathan Childress escaped," said Sheriff Murray Blackwelder.
"He ran up the street with an orange uniform, and no one called us," he said.
Yup, local escaped cons are virtually indistinguishable from your average group of Vol fans.
EEK, inmates on the prowl! No, wait their just Vol fans.
Mike Hampton makes his return to MLB tonight when he makes a start for the Braves against the Pirates. Considering he hasn't pitched in a regular season game since 2005, it will be interesting to see what he brings to the table.
The Phils are 0-2 thus far on the season, which is nothing new for them. Over the last 7 years collectively the Phils are 80-93 in games played in April. In games in all other months combined the Phils are 520-440. If they didn't have to play in April they'd be awesome.
Perhaps no photo better encapsulates the month of April for the Phils than this one.
Pedro Martinez is out for 6-8 weeks. Gee, who (given his injury history) didn't see that coming? Oh yeah, Mets fans. Hold off on the coronation guys, you'll have to earn the NL East.
If the Flyers miss the playoffs I will be super pissed. We were leading the division a couple of weeks ago and now it appears we'll be lucky to survive to get the 8th seed. After last year any playoff spot will be appreciated, but this team is too good to have hit the skids the way they have down the stretch.
And finally mighty shout outs to both the Sixers and the Hawks for making the NBA playoffs when I thought both were going to stink like feet this season. Now it's likely you'll both get bombed in the first round(particualrly the Hawks who are getting the Celtics), but hey getting there is better than counting Ping Pong balls in June.
Andre Miller has led the Sixers back to the playoffs.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
More fun with Internet lingo...
Today's word is buffalaxed. To buffalax (vb) To decipher an incomprehensible language, usually a short movie clip or choreographed dance sequence from a movie or video; usually from the Asian subcontinent and painstakingly subtitle the ridiculous nonsense into a language that can be easily understood by a larger international audience to hilarious effect. For example if a video in Spanish said "Muy bein gracias?" It might be translated to We being gassiness. Trust me it works better with Indian videos. I must caution you all, do not drink anything while watching this or you may spray your monitor.
And now for an example...
Now that is funny.
And now for an example...
Now that is funny.
College football spring games and the human response...
Recently I was asked if I was going to attend the Georgia football spring game, known locally here as "G-day". I replied that no, regretfully I would not be attending due to a prior commitment, but that I would be Tivoing the game for perusal at my leisure. Now the questioner, who was someone who works in my building that finds my obsession with all things Georgia football amusing, looked at me puzzlingly and queried, "Tivo, you mean it's on TV?"
Yes, unlike the revolution of poetic lore, G-day will be televised. Now among those for whom college football holds no special significance, the idea that a spring scrimmage would be available on cable engenders a most Iversonian reaction, "We're talking about practice." But for those of us who hold Fall Saturdays sacrosanct above all else, to the point of skipping the birthdays and weddings of family members during the months of September, October and November, this is a blessed day. You see college football has BY FAR the longest off season of any sport. And for those of us waiting for the glorious thud of foot hitting ball to signify the start of the season this serves as both an appetizer of the fun to come, and a mile marker of how much longer our wait will be.
Besides it's not like Georgia is the most obsessed place on the planet for college football. No that honor falls to Alabama, who had 92,000 people show up for their spring game last year.
Practice indeed, AI.
No less an authority than the "worldwide leader in sports" is offering its blessing to spring football, by sending it's College Gameday show to Florida's spring game.
The question is will any of them acknowledge that higlighting the 3rd place team in the SEC East on national TV is a bit overdone?
I'm all for the further glorification of SEC football, but Florida? Really? This season? I know, I know, Tebow won the Heisman, Percy Harvin is a god, blah, blah. But there is an old saying that defense wins championships, and if you don't believe it just ask Colt Brennen about the Sugar Bowl. (At which point his eyes will roll back in his head and he'll start mumbling, "The horror, the horror...")
Defense is a major problem for the Gators, and no amount of pretty offense will change that. They were LAST in the SEC in Pass D a year ago. They were 7th in total D and 8th in scoring D. This unit was burned more times than California's forests during a dry summer. I don't deny that Florida will be good next year, I just don't think they will warrant this kind of special treatment. Particularly when they face...
They don't want none of this.
Yes, unlike the revolution of poetic lore, G-day will be televised. Now among those for whom college football holds no special significance, the idea that a spring scrimmage would be available on cable engenders a most Iversonian reaction, "We're talking about practice." But for those of us who hold Fall Saturdays sacrosanct above all else, to the point of skipping the birthdays and weddings of family members during the months of September, October and November, this is a blessed day. You see college football has BY FAR the longest off season of any sport. And for those of us waiting for the glorious thud of foot hitting ball to signify the start of the season this serves as both an appetizer of the fun to come, and a mile marker of how much longer our wait will be.
Besides it's not like Georgia is the most obsessed place on the planet for college football. No that honor falls to Alabama, who had 92,000 people show up for their spring game last year.
Practice indeed, AI.
No less an authority than the "worldwide leader in sports" is offering its blessing to spring football, by sending it's College Gameday show to Florida's spring game.
The question is will any of them acknowledge that higlighting the 3rd place team in the SEC East on national TV is a bit overdone?
I'm all for the further glorification of SEC football, but Florida? Really? This season? I know, I know, Tebow won the Heisman, Percy Harvin is a god, blah, blah. But there is an old saying that defense wins championships, and if you don't believe it just ask Colt Brennen about the Sugar Bowl. (At which point his eyes will roll back in his head and he'll start mumbling, "The horror, the horror...")
Defense is a major problem for the Gators, and no amount of pretty offense will change that. They were LAST in the SEC in Pass D a year ago. They were 7th in total D and 8th in scoring D. This unit was burned more times than California's forests during a dry summer. I don't deny that Florida will be good next year, I just don't think they will warrant this kind of special treatment. Particularly when they face...
They don't want none of this.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Boz's top 5 must read blogs.
The wonderful thing about the Internet(besides it's ability to provide a forum for literary hacks like moi) is that no matter who you are you can find something on it you want to read. You could be a left handed, Swahili speaking, Asian dental assistant who enjoys bocce and tractor pulls; and you will probably find a site that caters almost exclusively to your needs. Personally, I'm all about blogs. They are a great way to learn about a variety of topics from people who are genuinely passionate about them. If I give enough of a shit about something to be reading about it, I'd like the writer to be emotionally involved as well and blogs never fail in this regard. So without further ado, here are the 5 blogs I absolutely must read daily.
1. Daily Kos- Markos Moulitsas is one of the heavy hitters of the blogosphere and a hell of a fine writer. DK is also a major clearing house of political news and information. If something is happening in the world of politics, it's being diaried on Daily Kos.
2. Hey Jenny Slater- Doug Gillett is not only a fine writer, fellow Obama Democrat, and acute observer of the human condition; he's also an enormous Georgia fan and absolutely funny as hell. From his cogent football analysis to his hilarious excoriations of all things Republican, with a touch of self deprecating romantic failure thrown in, Doug is always entertaining. He gets bonus points for naming his blog after one of my all time favorite films as well.
Trust me you want to read his stuff.
3. Stuff white people like- This falls into the category of its funny because it's true. Don't believe me, perform this test: Find your average white person(if you are an average white person, you can DIY), have them/you read the blog, count the number of times you find them/yourself nodding along. See, it's infectious! Some of my favorites...
#1 Coffee
#16 Gifted children
#23 Microbreweries
#33 Marijuana
#44 Public Radio
#52 Sarah Silverman
#60 Toyota Prius
#69 Mos Def
#80 the idea of soccer
#89 St. Patrick's Day
4. The Good Phight- like all long suffering Phillies phans I enjoyed last seasons NL East title immensely. That it came at the expense of a historic collapse by the Mets made it even better.
Let me taste those tears, Mets fans!
Since I no longer inhabit the city of brotherly love, I must get my Phillies news over the 'Net; and the Good Phight enables me to do that. There are a number of fine Phillies blogs out there but this one is the best, and that makes it a must read.
5. Sunday Morning QB- If you are a college football fan, you simply must read this blog. SMQ is like the George Will of college football. The writing is terrific, the analysis is first rate, and there is nothing about college football he doesn't cover. This is probably the only site that could convince me to sit down and watch Conference USA football and that is saying something.
1. Daily Kos- Markos Moulitsas is one of the heavy hitters of the blogosphere and a hell of a fine writer. DK is also a major clearing house of political news and information. If something is happening in the world of politics, it's being diaried on Daily Kos.
2. Hey Jenny Slater- Doug Gillett is not only a fine writer, fellow Obama Democrat, and acute observer of the human condition; he's also an enormous Georgia fan and absolutely funny as hell. From his cogent football analysis to his hilarious excoriations of all things Republican, with a touch of self deprecating romantic failure thrown in, Doug is always entertaining. He gets bonus points for naming his blog after one of my all time favorite films as well.
Trust me you want to read his stuff.3. Stuff white people like- This falls into the category of its funny because it's true. Don't believe me, perform this test: Find your average white person(if you are an average white person, you can DIY), have them/you read the blog, count the number of times you find them/yourself nodding along. See, it's infectious! Some of my favorites...
#1 Coffee
#16 Gifted children
#23 Microbreweries
#33 Marijuana
#44 Public Radio
#52 Sarah Silverman
#60 Toyota Prius
#69 Mos Def
#80 the idea of soccer
#89 St. Patrick's Day
4. The Good Phight- like all long suffering Phillies phans I enjoyed last seasons NL East title immensely. That it came at the expense of a historic collapse by the Mets made it even better.
Let me taste those tears, Mets fans!
Since I no longer inhabit the city of brotherly love, I must get my Phillies news over the 'Net; and the Good Phight enables me to do that. There are a number of fine Phillies blogs out there but this one is the best, and that makes it a must read.
5. Sunday Morning QB- If you are a college football fan, you simply must read this blog. SMQ is like the George Will of college football. The writing is terrific, the analysis is first rate, and there is nothing about college football he doesn't cover. This is probably the only site that could convince me to sit down and watch Conference USA football and that is saying something.
It's the inevitable return of the great white dope...
I am kick starting my blog anew. I know you are all thrilled, seriously, both of you. To kick off my triumphant return, I want to take a minute to talk about rick rolling. For the uninitiated the urban dictionary defines rick rolling as "to be tricked into watching a Rick Astley video." Generally it is the video for Never going to give you up. Today the good folks at youtube rick rolled everyone who came to the site by causing all the featured video links to take you to this...
Ah the joy of April fools day!
Personally I think this would have been a better choice...
Now as far as it goes, I really don't understand the concept of rick rolling. I mean I get the idea of tricking someone into watching something they didn't expect, because hey, that can be funny.
Hmm, a video of Mortal Kombat finishing moves, cool! Whoa, An episode of Golden Girls, they got me!
My great question is why Rick Astley? This guy hasn't been relevant since 1988, it's just so totally random. Did somebody REALLY feel that a new generation needed to be exposed to the underappreciated genius of Rick Astley? And if you're going to pimp Rick Astley, why not link his other hit occassionally...
DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST TOGETHER FOREVER, HUH, DO YA? But I digress. Be sure to vote in today's poll. I'll be adding a poll of the day, to get insight into what you think about what I'm thinking. If you could follow that, you were born to read me.
Ah the joy of April fools day!
Personally I think this would have been a better choice...
Now as far as it goes, I really don't understand the concept of rick rolling. I mean I get the idea of tricking someone into watching something they didn't expect, because hey, that can be funny.
Hmm, a video of Mortal Kombat finishing moves, cool! Whoa, An episode of Golden Girls, they got me!
My great question is why Rick Astley? This guy hasn't been relevant since 1988, it's just so totally random. Did somebody REALLY feel that a new generation needed to be exposed to the underappreciated genius of Rick Astley? And if you're going to pimp Rick Astley, why not link his other hit occassionally...
DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST TOGETHER FOREVER, HUH, DO YA? But I digress. Be sure to vote in today's poll. I'll be adding a poll of the day, to get insight into what you think about what I'm thinking. If you could follow that, you were born to read me.
