Pop Culture Cuisinart

She proves that one can be a complete lunatic and still be considered an actual political pundit. In many ways she reminds me of my recently broken home air conditioner; ineffectual, and only capable of blowing hot air. Personally I don't know how anyone gets to be as hateful as Ann is. She'll rail for hours about immigrants, liberals, Muslims, 9/11 widows, and many others. It doesn't seem possible that anyone could harbor so much vitriol about so many other people without spontaneously combusting, yet somehow Ann manages. I imagine some of her anger derives from the envy of being a peroxide dependent, in a world where blondes have more fun. I suspect that her hair dyeing may be due to self esteem issues, that cause her to lash out at others. Or perhaps she was abused as a child, possibly by a liberal(that would explain a lot) or more likely by a conservative(self loathing is a bitch). Given the generally poor quality of her writing(it's like reading the thoughts of a drunken militia member with Tourette's syndrome), I think Ann should channel her anger into something more useful like ultimate fighting.

Just let the curtain match the drapes Ann, you can't deny who you are.

Edmonton has no one to blame but themselves for being down 2-0 in the Stanley Cup Finals. First, one of their defensemen takes out their OWN goalie in game one. Then they completely crap the bed in game 2 after giving up the first goal. They better get it together at home or this thing is going to be a sweep.

The Miami Heat are a mighty assemblage, the only way that they will be beat is if Phoenix and Dallas were to get together and form a super team to take them out. This team of course would be called Phallus. (Kidding, actually I like the Mavs in 6.)

The FDA finally agreed to allow an HPV vaccine on to the market. HPV is an STD that can cause cervical cancer in women. The vaccine approval had been held up by the Bush administration at the behest of right wing religious groups who argued that the presence of the vaccine might spur promiscuity. Yes, I frequently hear young girls say, "If only I didn't have to worry about getting an asymptomatic STD that MIGHT cause me to get cancer when I'm 65, I'd totally be having sex!" In all seriousness the end of HPV could save thousands of lives, to withhold a functional vaccine for such a fallacious argument is lunacy. But hey, that's today's Republican party.

The World Cup starts today. World economic productivity shall plummet. I think Brazil wins their Sixth Cup on July 9th.

Lost in all the coverage of the Zarqawi killing yesterday, was the fact that the US could have taken him out BEFORE the war, and chose not to. So let's not break our arms patting ourselves on the back at how good we are.

People magazine is suing to try to stop people from posting bootlegged pictures of the Brajelina baby. The magazine which reportedly paid $4 million for the rights to publish the first picture of the baby is seeing it's investment go up in flames. Why are people so interested in this? Yes, they are celebrities and they had a baby. It's just a baby though. It's going to look like every other baby! Unless this kid has horns and goat legs there is no reason for anyone to get this worked up.

Jon Stewart's evisseration of Bill Bennett on the Daily Show the other night is worth a look. It's lovely to watch him
puncture the arguments of yet another conservative blowhard. Of course he does it so regularly it's not surprising anymore. It doesn't say much for the rest of the left wing punditocracy, that they have so much trouble debating these same people that Stewart handles so easily. Perhaps we should get him to go on the Sunday morning shows.

On the day of the Beast, 6/6/06 the LA ANGELS defeated the Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays 12-2. The rapture has been forstalled for the next 1000 years in baseball, or at least until the next collective bargaining agreement expires.


The Bat of God!

Shopping for shades.

Yes, that's Juwan Howard.

Five finger discount.

BY SUSAN ANASAGASTI
sanasagasti@MiamiHerald.com
Pro basketball player Juwan Howard is facing charges he stole an expensive pair of sunglasses from a South Beach store.

Miami Beach police told The Miami Herald they'll seek a warrant for Howard's arrest today.

Howard, who plays forward with the Houston Rockets, was at Eye Q Optical at 760 Ocean Dr. on Saturday, trying on several sunglasses.

He paid $192 for a pair, according to a Miami Beach police report.

As he was paying with his credit card, Howard pocketed a pair of $1,695 Cartier shades and walked off, according to police.

A surveillance camera recorded the scene, police said. The 6-9, 230-pound forward owns a condo on Brickell Key and a home in the Coral Gables area.

The Rockets finished 34-48 and out of the playoffs. A call to the Houston Rockets media relations department was not immediately returned on Thursday morning.

Herald staff writer David Ovalle contributed to this report.

Nice work, Juwan. It's not like you haven't made in excess of $100 million in your NBA career. Unless you have the money management skills of the Republican Congress, you should have enough change to cover the cost of those $1700 sunglasses. BTW, who buys $1700 sunglasses anyway. At the rate I sit on, damage, and just otherwise lose sunglasses if I spent $1700 on a pair, I'd be broke in a month.

because the date is 06-06-06, or the equivalent of the number of the beast you have hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia(I so want this to be whipped out in a spelling bee, "Uh, can you use it in a sentence?"). This is a fear of the number 666 and it's derivatives. While the number has in popular culture and low Christian folklore become commonly associated with Satan, many biblical scholars believe this interpretation is incorrect. They believe it's a reference to a Roman emperor who persecuted Christian's, thought to be Domitian or the better known Nero. Considering that both of these emperor's spent time feeding Christian's to lions and what not, it's not surprising that early Christians might have felt that this behavior toward them could appropriately be described as beastly.

The Real Beast?

What one or two issues should be top priorities for the president and Congress to deal with at this time?
May April
Situation in Iraq/war 42 29
Fuel/oil prices/lack of energy sources/the energy crisis 29 13
Immigration/illegal aliens 23 20
Economy in general 14 14
Poor health care/hospitals; high cost of health care 12 9
Terrorism 4 3
Education/poor education/access to education 4 4
Federal budget deficit/federal debt 3 3
Unemployment/jobs 3 3
Taxes 3 2
Social Security 2 2
Internationalissues/problems 2 2
National security 2 5
Environment/pollution 2 1
Medicare 2 2
Foreign aid/focus overseas 2 2
Poor leadership/corruption/dissatisfactionwith
government/Congress/politicians/candidates 2 1
Poverty/hunger/homelessness 1 1

Ethics/moral/religious/family decline
;dishonesty; lack of integrity 1 1
Natural disaster relief/funding 1 -
Trade deficit/foreign trade 1 -
High cost of living/inflation 1 1
Unifying the country - 1
Judicial system/courts/laws - 1
Abortion - 1
Lack of money - 1
Gap between rich and poor - 1
Other 1 2
No opinion 4 3

The number on the right is the percentage that responded with that answer in April the left number is the percentage responding that way in May. You'll notice that the percentages add to over 100%. That's because some respondents picked multiple issues. The bottom line is Iraq and gas prices are on over 70% of the American electorate's mind right now. So this is naturally a perfect time for Congress to focus on Gay Marriage. Yes, let's debate an amendment to the Constitution that would codify discrimination for an entire class of citizens. We'll just put that whole Iraq war clusterf--- thing on the back burner. The American political establishment couldn't be less in touch with the American people if they were governing from the moon. The voters really need to burst this bubble this fall, or this kind of blatant disregerd for the will of the people will only continue to fester. I'm also disturbed that more people said they had no opinion(4%), then said the enviroment (2%) was a top concern. Do we need a Katrina in every state for people to wake up to the fact that global warming is a problem? Perhaps if enough polar ice melts burying most of Florida under water, and people lose their opportunity to wear tank tops and mouse ears while riding roller coasters, they'll finally recognize something just might be wrong.