Wednesday, June 04, 2008
The Summer of the Sequel...
It has often been said that there are no good ideas in Hollywood anymore. After looking through this summer's slate of forthcoming releases, I'm starting to agree with those who think that. Let's take a look at a few...
The Incredible Hulk- First off, they already made this movie in 2003, and it was patently awful. That was probably due to the fact that they had a Chinese art film director helming an American comic book action movie. This one looks more promising due to the fact that Ed Norton is more Bannerlike than Eric Bana, and having the guy who directed the Transporter doing it allows for a better understanding of the source material. So pretend the first movie never happened and go see it.
Get Smart- A Mel Brooks movie as reimagined by the guys who wrote Failure to Launch? I'll pass.
Hellboy 2- Another Comic movie, this should answer all those questions left hanging at the end of the first Hellboy.
Mamma Mia- When running out of ideas, hit up Broadway. Meryl Streep, the daughter from Big Love, and tons of Abba tunes. The Broadway snobs will avoid it, but the campiness will prove to be so much catnip for your average Abba fan.
The Dark Knight- Finally a sequel, I actually want to see. Chris Nolan's reimagining of this franchise kicked the spandex and neon Schuamcher stench right out of the Caped Crusader. While it's unfortunate that Heath Ledger's passing has cast something of a pallor over this film, it is good that his final performance is destined to be iconic.
The X-Files: I want to believe- An X-Files sequel? That is so last millenium. I might have wanted to see this movie...in 1999. Now I am just appalled at the unabashed cash grab that this is by Fox. Seriously, 10 years between movies, why don't I call up my high school sweetheart while I'm at it and see if she's still interested, sheesh.
The Mummy:Tomb of the Emperor- At least Universal only waited 7 years to make this pointless sequel. Apparently Brendan Fraser needed the money. No Rachel Weisz and no Steve Sommers on board, screams rental to me.
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2- Magic jeans return! Weeee! My kingdom for an original movie in the summer.
Tropic Thunder- Finally an original summer movie idea. Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. in black face. Plus a Tom Cruise cameo(maybe he'll wax poetic on the wonders of scientology), comedy, drama, a hard R rating and a fine cast. Whats not to like?
A humorous fighting force.
The Incredible Hulk- First off, they already made this movie in 2003, and it was patently awful. That was probably due to the fact that they had a Chinese art film director helming an American comic book action movie. This one looks more promising due to the fact that Ed Norton is more Bannerlike than Eric Bana, and having the guy who directed the Transporter doing it allows for a better understanding of the source material. So pretend the first movie never happened and go see it.
Get Smart- A Mel Brooks movie as reimagined by the guys who wrote Failure to Launch? I'll pass.
Hellboy 2- Another Comic movie, this should answer all those questions left hanging at the end of the first Hellboy.
Mamma Mia- When running out of ideas, hit up Broadway. Meryl Streep, the daughter from Big Love, and tons of Abba tunes. The Broadway snobs will avoid it, but the campiness will prove to be so much catnip for your average Abba fan.
The Dark Knight- Finally a sequel, I actually want to see. Chris Nolan's reimagining of this franchise kicked the spandex and neon Schuamcher stench right out of the Caped Crusader. While it's unfortunate that Heath Ledger's passing has cast something of a pallor over this film, it is good that his final performance is destined to be iconic.
The X-Files: I want to believe- An X-Files sequel? That is so last millenium. I might have wanted to see this movie...in 1999. Now I am just appalled at the unabashed cash grab that this is by Fox. Seriously, 10 years between movies, why don't I call up my high school sweetheart while I'm at it and see if she's still interested, sheesh.
The Mummy:Tomb of the Emperor- At least Universal only waited 7 years to make this pointless sequel. Apparently Brendan Fraser needed the money. No Rachel Weisz and no Steve Sommers on board, screams rental to me.
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2- Magic jeans return! Weeee! My kingdom for an original movie in the summer.
Tropic Thunder- Finally an original summer movie idea. Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. in black face. Plus a Tom Cruise cameo(maybe he'll wax poetic on the wonders of scientology), comedy, drama, a hard R rating and a fine cast. Whats not to like?
A humorous fighting force.
Obama clinches the nomination, Hillary still testing talking points...
Last night the voters of South Dakota and Montana along with numerous superdelegate endorsers, put Barack Obama over the top of the delegate number he needed to clinch the Democratic parties' nomination for the Presidency. A veritable who's who of Democratic leading lights have declared there endorsements for Obama, and essentially told Hillary to take a powder.
The future First Family, try saying that 10 times fast.
Diamond Hill however has other ideas. In a speech that it would be straining credulity to describe as a concession, Hillary announced that she "would not be deciding anything tonight" and that she had "won the popular vote."
This is of course a fatuous argument, because the measuring stick for the nomination is delegates and not the popular vote. Even so, this claim also happens to be patently false, since she is in fact not leading the popular vote.
The only metric by which Clinton could attempt to claim a popular vote lead is if you count the Potemkin election that was Michigan, where she was the only leading candidate on the ballot. Since actual democratic elections contain more than one candidate, it really isn't rational to count Michigan in the totals. And if you don't count Michigan Obama has 17,869,419 votes to Clinton's 17,717,520 a difference of 151,899 in Obama's favor. So we are finished with the primary and Obama has won the popular vote, won the most delgates and energized the Democratic party. There is now officially NO path to the nomination for Hillary, trying to take it to the convention is just going to piss people off and will not change the outcome. So it's time for you to be gracious and endorse Obama, Hillary. You have no where else to go from here, unless you can find another primary in say Narnia.
This way to the next battleground state! I hear the Pevensie endorsement will deliver the faun vote.
The future First Family, try saying that 10 times fast.
Diamond Hill however has other ideas. In a speech that it would be straining credulity to describe as a concession, Hillary announced that she "would not be deciding anything tonight" and that she had "won the popular vote."
This is of course a fatuous argument, because the measuring stick for the nomination is delegates and not the popular vote. Even so, this claim also happens to be patently false, since she is in fact not leading the popular vote.
The only metric by which Clinton could attempt to claim a popular vote lead is if you count the Potemkin election that was Michigan, where she was the only leading candidate on the ballot. Since actual democratic elections contain more than one candidate, it really isn't rational to count Michigan in the totals. And if you don't count Michigan Obama has 17,869,419 votes to Clinton's 17,717,520 a difference of 151,899 in Obama's favor. So we are finished with the primary and Obama has won the popular vote, won the most delgates and energized the Democratic party. There is now officially NO path to the nomination for Hillary, trying to take it to the convention is just going to piss people off and will not change the outcome. So it's time for you to be gracious and endorse Obama, Hillary. You have no where else to go from here, unless you can find another primary in say Narnia.
This way to the next battleground state! I hear the Pevensie endorsement will deliver the faun vote.
