Pop Culture Cuisinart

OK, it's an old joke, but all the current hysteria over gay marriage got me thinking about the ritual of marriage itself. You know what I realized... marriage is already gay! Think about it, at what other point in a man's life, does he get together with his closest friends and wear the exact same outfit? Try never, if I knew I had the same shirt as one of my friends, I'd probably throw it out on general principal. Here you willingly wear the same thing, and it's formal wear no less. Then you have the reception, scores of bad booty music tracks you'd never normally listen to, played so your rhythmically challenged relatives can "shake their groove thang." Would you normally electric slide? Macarena? And where else do grown men get drunk and profess their love for one another. It happens frequently in best man speeches.
At no other time in your life will you be asked if you prefer orchids or lilies. Should the ribbons on the centerpieces be violet or fushia? And you should just hand over your guy card when you are selecting a china pattern. In fact the only real escapist bastion of maleness is the bachelor party... and guess what, that's gay too.
Imagine, a dozen drunk guys sitting around in a room getting horny watching naked women gyrate. That's what happens in your typical strip club. Oh and by the way, you can't touch the women. In fact the only people you can touch are the other guys you're with, folks that's gay.
So the next time somebody tells you gay marriage is an abomination, point out that marriage itself is already gay.