Thursday, March 26, 2009
Republican cognitive dissonance about stimulus...
Perhaps the most amusing thing about all the Republican uproar over the stimulus package and their TOTAL LOCKSTEP opposition to it, is the rhetorical gymnastics they are now undergoing in attempt to take credit for it. Huh, you ask, they are trying to take credit for it? Well not the package in general, no, that remains an evil socialist Obama plot. But they will happily take credit for any money that is in the package that is flowing to their districts. The Wall Street Journal has the story.
Take Congressman Pete Hoekstra of Michigan, for example. When asked about bragging about stimulus money coming to the mitten state, despite his opposition to it, Hoekstra had this to say:
You know, the Congressman is totally right. Just because I chose to study communications in school, instead of astrophysics, doesn't mean I can't get a job as a rocket scientist later, right? Of course.
Next, we have the former Mrs. Sonny Bono:
No thanks to me she neglected to add. And it continues...
Citrus research? You commie. But wait, there's more...
Wait, you're now bragging about GETTING EARMARKS! I thought the mere mention of the word earmark was enough to cause a Republican to burst into flames of indignation. I guess not.
As it turns out, Republican congressmen all over the country are going back to their constituents and turning into pocket Michael Steele's bragging about their Stimulus bling, you know, hoping they can do the usual kabuki that goes on where few people are really paying attention to the actual record of their local representative. Few people really know if their congressman voted for or against something, and even fewer bother to look it up...
There is just one little problem. THEY MADE A BIG FUCKING DEAL OUT OF THE FACT THAT NONE OF THEM VOTED FOR IT. The whole zero GOP votes was kind of a talking point for fiscal discipline. They had headlines and everything.
The thing about ZERO is, it's just about the easiest number to remember. Let's do an experiment.
How many House Republicans voted against the bill?
Okay. Now how many House Democrats voted against the bill?
Even if you're a sleep deprived, easily distracted Gen Xer like me, you'll be able to remember ONE number. The one that starts and ends with nothing and has ZERO in between.
I guarantee more Americans remember ZERO.
So this idea that you can take credit for money that you OPPOSED every step of the way is not happening. It should be hung like a millstone around the necks of every GOPer who put party over country in voting for ZERO recovery, ZERO jobs, ZERO energy gains, ZERO health care reform, and ZERO infrastructure improvement.
ZERO votes for these jackasses, will hopefully be the end result.
We provided NOT even this many votes for the stimulus!
Take Congressman Pete Hoekstra of Michigan, for example. When asked about bragging about stimulus money coming to the mitten state, despite his opposition to it, Hoekstra had this to say:
Washington needs to stop spending money that it doesn't have," Michigan Republican Rep. Pete Hoekstra said in attacking the $410 billion omnibus-spending bill, which funds the government through September. But once it passed, he touted its benefits for his district, which stretches along Lake Michigan.
"Safe and navigable harbors are economic engines that drive the communities that surround them," Mr. Hoekstra declared, announcing $3 million for harbor improvements.
"Not to be rude, but it's one of the dumbest things," Mr. Hoekstra said of the notion that there is a contradiction. "The only people who are supposed to get money in an omnibus bill are the ones that vote for it?...I don't see any inconsistency at all."
You know, the Congressman is totally right. Just because I chose to study communications in school, instead of astrophysics, doesn't mean I can't get a job as a rocket scientist later, right? Of course.
Next, we have the former Mrs. Sonny Bono:
Rep. Mary Bono Mack (R., Calif.), who denounced the stimulus bill as wasteful, soon announced that it provided a $4.2 million grant for her district to prevent families from becoming homeless. "This funding will provide much-needed assistance," she said.
No thanks to me she neglected to add. And it continues...
Rep. Cliff Stearns (R., Fla.) voted against the spending bill. When it passed, he announced that he had "secured" $1.7 million in the legislation for a citrus-research project and a mental-health program.
Citrus research? You commie. But wait, there's more...
Rep. Howard Coble (R., N.C.) issued a news release on March 11 boasting that "six Coble earmarks" were in the omnibus bill, including $855,000 to extend an airport runway.
Wait, you're now bragging about GETTING EARMARKS! I thought the mere mention of the word earmark was enough to cause a Republican to burst into flames of indignation. I guess not.
As it turns out, Republican congressmen all over the country are going back to their constituents and turning into pocket Michael Steele's bragging about their Stimulus bling, you know, hoping they can do the usual kabuki that goes on where few people are really paying attention to the actual record of their local representative. Few people really know if their congressman voted for or against something, and even fewer bother to look it up...
There is just one little problem. THEY MADE A BIG FUCKING DEAL OUT OF THE FACT THAT NONE OF THEM VOTED FOR IT. The whole zero GOP votes was kind of a talking point for fiscal discipline. They had headlines and everything.
The thing about ZERO is, it's just about the easiest number to remember. Let's do an experiment.
How many House Republicans voted against the bill?
Okay. Now how many House Democrats voted against the bill?
Even if you're a sleep deprived, easily distracted Gen Xer like me, you'll be able to remember ONE number. The one that starts and ends with nothing and has ZERO in between.
I guarantee more Americans remember ZERO.
So this idea that you can take credit for money that you OPPOSED every step of the way is not happening. It should be hung like a millstone around the necks of every GOPer who put party over country in voting for ZERO recovery, ZERO jobs, ZERO energy gains, ZERO health care reform, and ZERO infrastructure improvement.
ZERO votes for these jackasses, will hopefully be the end result.
We provided NOT even this many votes for the stimulus!
